Raw Parenting Podcast Newsletter - March 2026
Is Parenting a Scam?
The part no one talks about: loneliness, burnout, and where the heck the village went
Dear Parents,
Now that we have three kids, ages four, two, and almost one, we’ve been asking ourselves a question that feels a little dangerous to say out loud:
Does parenting ever feel like a scam?
Not because we regret our kids.
Not because we don’t love them.
Not because we wish for some completely different life.
But because what we imagined parenting would be… and what it actually is… are not the same thing.
Before kids, I think both of us were a little naive.
We knew there would be hard moments. We expected sleepless nights, crying, and long days. But I don’t think we understood the full weight of what modern parenting would actually feel like.
The part that hits hardest for us right now is this:
Where is the village?
We Thought There Would Be More People
Maybe it came from movies.
Maybe it came from childhood memories.
Maybe it came from the idea that when you have kids, people show up.
Family nearby.
Friends dropping in.
Grandparents helping.
Uncles and aunts around the corner.
People who just naturally become part of your everyday life.
But for us, and for a lot of parents we know, it has felt much more like this:
Two people trying to hold everything together while quietly wondering why it feels so lonely.
And that loneliness is strange, because technically we are not alone.
We have some help.
We have people who care.
We have support in certain ways.
But even with gratitude, parenting can still feel deeply isolating.
And both things can be true at once.
The Loneliness No One Warns You About
One of the hardest parts of parenting is that your world gets smaller while your responsibilities get bigger.
You lose spontaneity.
You lose freedom.
Sometimes you lose friends.
And not always in some dramatic, movie-worthy way. Sometimes people just slowly drift.
Their lives move one way.
Yours moves another.
They don’t have kids yet, or they live too far away, or everyone is overwhelmed in their own life.
And before you know it, your circle feels tiny.
That was something we were not prepared for.
We did not expect parenting to feel so… cut off.
Modern Parenting Feels Backwards
The more we talk about this, the more it feels like modern parenting is set up in the most exhausting way possible.
You are the cook.
The cleaner.
The emotional regulator.
The comforter.
The teacher.
The scheduler.
The therapist.
The doctor.
The entertainer.
The employee.
The business owner.
The everything.
And most of the time, you are doing all of that without enough real support.
No wonder so many parents are burned out.
No wonder so many moms and dads feel like they’re just dragging themselves through the day.
No wonder an hour-long break doesn’t even feel like a break.
We Chose This… But Also, Life Happened
This is where parenting gets complicated.
Yes, we chose to have kids.
Yes, we wanted this life.
Yes, we love our children deeply.
But choosing something doesn’t mean you understood exactly how it would unfold.
We didn’t choose the lack of village.
We didn’t choose the emotional isolation.
We didn’t choose the pace of the world.
We didn’t choose to raise kids in a culture where everyone seems too tired, too busy, or too guarded to really show up for one another.
That’s the part that feels like the trick.
Not the kids.
The system around parenting.
Sometimes It Isn’t the Kids. It’s the Weight of Everything
A lot of the hardest feelings we carry aren’t actually about our children.
They’re about the pressure.
The pressure to be patient.
The pressure to be present.
The pressure to make money.
The pressure to heal your own trauma while raising tiny humans.
The pressure to stay emotionally available when you are already empty.
And then, of course, the guilt comes in.
If you want a break, you feel guilty.
If you’re mentally unavailable, you feel guilty.
If you’re tired, touched out, overstimulated, or resentful for a moment, you feel guilty.
It all trickles into everything else.
Personal life.
Family life.
Work life.
It’s all connected.
Maybe What We’re Really Missing Is Community
When we look back at older generations, or at cultures that are more community-based, one thing stands out:
Parents were never meant to do this alone.
Children were raised around other people.
Neighbors knew each other.
Families were close.
Adults shared the load.
There was more natural support built into everyday life.
Now, especially in North America, life feels much more individualistic.
Everyone is in their own bubble.
Everyone is doing their own thing.
Everyone is overwhelmed.
And that kind of world is brutal on parents.
It’s Hard to Be Honest About Parenting
One thing we’ve also noticed is how hard it is to talk honestly about parenting without being misunderstood.
If you say it’s hard, people assume you regret your kids.
If you admit you’re struggling, people think you’re ungrateful.
If you talk about loneliness, people act like you’re being dramatic.
But there is a huge difference between:
“I regret my children.”
and
“This version of parenting is incredibly hard.”
We love our kids.
We are grateful for them.
We would choose them again.
And still, this is hard.
Both can be true.
The Question We Keep Coming Back To
What if the real problem isn’t that parents are weak, ungrateful, or doing it wrong?
What if the real problem is that parenting was never meant to look like this?
What if the burnout, the loneliness, and the constant pressure are signs that something bigger is broken?
Because if we’re honest, that’s what it feels like.
Not like our kids are the burden.
But like parenting in this culture asks too much and gives too little back.
If You’re Feeling This Too
This newsletter is not about having all the answers.
It’s about saying something out loud that a lot of parents are probably feeling:
This is beautiful, and hard, and lonely, and exhausting all at once.
And maybe more of us need to say that.
Not because we’re failing.
Not because we don’t love our kids.
But because truth is usually where connection starts.
If this resonates with you, you are not the only one.
Not even close.
Join the Conversation!
We’d love to hear from you! Be honest, what part of parenting feels the loneliest for you right now? Hit reply and let us know, or join the conversation on our latest post.
Reading with your little ones is such a special bonding experience. Let’s make sure the books we choose bring joy, learning, and positivity into their lives!
With love,
Tom & Malorie
The Raw Parenting Podcast
P.S. Want more real talk on parenting? Check out our latest podcast episode for a deep dive into this topic! 🎙️
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P.S.: “Growing as parents through deep, real conversations to raise better kids.”
See you next month!
